Simple Life

Life.  It's so busy, so hectic, so chaotic.  Seems like with summer especially, people are running here, running there.  Rushing through the work weeks only to have a busy weekend filled with traveling or plans.  God has blessed me with a chance to really enjoy nothing.  By nothing I mean just learning to be.  Be still.  It's truly amazing how much one can miss while being caught up in life's chaos.  It's weird for me because for the last 4 months or so, that's all my life has been: chaos.  Just one episode after another.  I didn't think it would ever end.  I just felt trapped.  Is this really all there was to life?  I was so caught up in my own little world that it took a bit of heartbreak, tears, separation, and change for God to finally reach me and tell me to just be.  Be still and know that He is God.  The verse found in James "Consider it pure joy my brothers, (or sisters) whenever you face trials of many kinds.  For you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance", has really spoken to me over the last months.  Pure joy.  One has to wonder how you can find absolute pure joy through chaos and trials.  How can someone battling cancer find pure joy in that trial?  How can someone who's just lost a child find pure joy in that? 

As I've asked myself these questions, the answer I already knew continued to come to me.  "For I know the plans I have for you...." Jeremiah 29:11.  God knows.  No matter what you're going through.  In our human minds it may not seem possible for us to find joy in a trying situation, but God has a greater plan.  Sometimes it takes going through trials to see the wonders God has in store for us.  If you would have asked me 3 months ago that what I was going through would make me a better person...I wouldn't have believed you.  But here I am, living proof that God is faithful. 

For years I tried to live a double life.  You know, the one where you are who you are supposed to be around certain people, but then a completely different person around others.  Just following the empty living of the world.  Trying to fit in. Trying to make two completely different lifestyles mesh.  It doesn't work.  Eventually something has to give.  And believe you, me.  It gave.  Several times, but the first 3 times, I didn't listen. I just tried to do things on my own.  And that's just it.  We can't do it alone.  There's no way I would have been where I am without God holding my hand and walking with me every step of the way through it.

So here I am, 4 months later...experiencing chaos-free living.  For now.  God probably will throw a curve ball or 2 at me down the road because I know He has so much more to show me.  But for now, I'm marveling at how much He has done already.  God is good.  All the time.