It has been an awesome journey and I've learned so much! Did you know that we are called to make peace with others? No matter WHAT the case. Matthew 5 gives great insight as to how we should respond to those who offend us. I can say with honesty that this has been a sore subject for me as I tend to hold on to grudges. I let the hurt and damage that's been done fester up without even thinking to try and make peace with that person. And what's worse is, I know I've hurt and offended numerous people, and I haven't asked for forgiveness properly.
Yes. There is a right and wrong way to ask for forgiveness. So often people just mildly acknowledge the hurt they've caused and expect the offended to accept it. Take a moment to think of the last time you said you were sorry or asked for forgiveness. Did you include the words 'If, but, or maybe'? 9 times out of 10, you did. "I'm sorry IF I hurt you". While this may sound like a legitimate apology, it's actually only further damaging. By including those 3 words in your apology, you are not fully accepting the hurt you've caused that person. Instead, you are saying that you aren't sure that you hurt them which in retrospect makes the offended feel like you don't really understand the damage you have caused. Crazy isn't it?
The hardest part for me was the part found in Matthew 7 that talks about getting the own 'log' out of your eye before accusing others of their faults. It's so easy to just point out others' faults and see what areas of their lives they need to work on, and not even realize that there may be bigger problems within your own life! Take a step back to reflect on this verse,
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's (or sister's) eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother (or sister) 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye. You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's (or sister's) eye."
If that isn't a slap in the face I don't know what is. I can't say that I've completely removed my 'plank' but I'm working on it. God's showing me things about myself that perhaps have stood in the way of friendships or even hurt them. Today in church, they asked us to make a promise, to try and resolve the conflict in our life. And while some of the conflict I've experienced is truly unrepairable, there are a few that can be fixed.
I challenge you to take a look at your own life and see if there is any unresolved conflict in your life that needs to be mended. Whether that be with family members, friends, your spouse/significant other...whatever the case may be...It's never to late to make the first step and make peace with them. Only after peace has been made can we begin to live out our God-designed potential.
If you're afraid like I am to face our faults, don't forget that you're not doing it alone. "Blessed are the peacemakers , for they will be called sons (or daughters) of God." Matthew 5:9. God is with you and will guide you through it, but only if you do it in a godly and biblical way. God is good. All the time.
but what do you do when the person you try to apologize to wants nothing to do with you? :/
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